Thursday, December 20, 2012

It's Not the End of the World, But...

Probably the best part about being done with chemotherapy is to once again be able to choose foods based on anything other than barf-ability. This is exactly what it sounds like - and just as pleasant as you may imagine.

Throughout the course of my treatment, many of my favorite foods were eventually set aside as part of a self-imposed boycott.  These items were carefully selected based on a complex scientific process known as "learn-it-the-hard-way".  Included on my Thou Shall Not Eat list was tortilla soup, salad with blue cheese dressing, anything topped with salsa and what should have been obvious but made the list late due to my absolute love affair with them - Tim's Cascade Jalapeno potato chips.  There was also an unfortunate incident with deep fried pickles but I probably had that one coming. 

It goes without saying that "fish" did not score high in the barf-ability category either.  Thus, it felt as though I reached a milestone recently when I met friends for lunch at a favorite mid-town sushi restaurant. 

As I gleefully devoured a Dragon Roll without fear of potential "return factor" the conversation made the logical jump from Christmas shopping to the impending Mayan doomsday predictions.

"Wouldn't you be ticked if you went through all this and the world ended on Friday?"  Asked my best-ie while carefully balancing her chopsticks in one hand.  

I laughed and told her I wouldn't mind so much - so long as the End occurs quickly and we don't have to endure endless CNN coverage of the event.

But I think the question bears further investigation. 

While I don't believe "End of Civilization" has been neatly penciled in for tomorrow afternoon, I occasionally have been known to indulge in flawed judgement (see fried pickles).  So just in case, let me be perfectly clear:  If the world were to end tomorrow, I would not regret a thing. 

Yes - this year has been a challenge.  The last six months have shaken me to the core.  My experiences with cancer have tested my physical, emotional and psychological limits - and sometimes I've come up lacking.  But it has also given me the opportunity to gain a perspective I never would have otherwise.  I have said the things I need to say, strengthened priorities such as family and friends and let go of others such as vanity and wealth.  I've laughed harder, cried more and just generally experienced life fuller than at any other time.

And though I have what feels like an endless road ahead of me back to true "health" and wellness of both body and mind - I have confidence that the journey will be worthwhile. No matter how many days I am allowed on this planet.

So yes, Mayans - give it your best shot.  My guess is civilization will continue tomorrow - and CNN will supply endless coverage of the world not ending. 

As for me, I plan on ordering up another Dragon Roll  - and enjoying every last bite.

2 comments:

  1. As usual, you made me laugh, And as usual, you inspired me, sharing your feelings and thoughts.
    Wonder sometimes how I would handle your situation--for sure I know I couldn't have shared it the way you have!!

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  2. You go girl! Since we have never met, I have adopted a voyeuristic stance, as I followed your ordeal with cancer and chemo (even though I live less than 50 miles away). You've made me laugh. You've touched me deeply. I am in awe of your extraordinary courage and grit. Truly, you are a heroine in every sense of the word. Thank you, for your brutally honest account of your journey.

    I wish you and your lovely family a fabulously Merry Christmas and much joy in 2013. That is, if the world doesn't end this afternoon. Perhaps I should postpone vacuuming until I am sure that it is not unnecessary :-D

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